It’s the season for wanting, wanting for more time, wanting for more daylight, wanting for more stuff. With a child in the house, the “stuff issue” is an epic one. I can barely keep up with the stuff; no sooner has Lucia grown into her clothing, then I’m swapping it out for new sizes. And I can’t just get rid of her stuff; I’ve got to find a place, in our tiny home, to store her cast-offs in case we have another child.  Further, Lucia has generous – and local – grandparents who loves getting her things, particularly, it seems, large, plastic, noise-making toys that resist efficient storage.

This bombardment of messages of accumulation leaves me drained and irritable; I suffer visceral and mental indigestion. This year, I’ve worked to create a sense of abundance through experiences and time spent with loves ones, and I’ve tried to make the “stuff” simpler, more mindful, and minimal.

I started with a list; given that Lucia’s favorite toys are not-a-toys – keys, cords, zippers – we’re sticking with the 4 gifts approach for Lucia: something she wants, something she needs, something to wear, something to read. I put a couple of items in each category, and I sent her grandparents a gracious email reminding them that experiences matter so much more than stuff, but if they were going to get Lucia a Christmas gift (and they were, oh boy), then here were some great ideas. I included on the list “experience gifts” like music classes and a membership to the local nature preserve. One set of grandparents opted for music lessons, and the other something Lucia really needs: a pair of good walking shoes.

Here’s what Santa will be leaving for Lucia at the Olson House:

1. Something she wants: a baby doll. We opted for a soft-body doll that’s cozy and washable.

2. Something she needs: snow boots. After much research, I bought the Stonz boots in a size up with a fleece liner. Lucia and I spend a lot of time outside, and she needs to be warm. They boots will last her this season and next.

3. Something to wear: cozy pajamas. Oh okay , and because I’m only human, I had to get myself a matching pair too.

4. Something to read: The children’s section of our local bookstore is fantastic. I bought Lucia TouchThinkLearn: ABC; its pages are indestructable, and the book is quirky and imaginative.

I also bought her Jack Ezra Keat’s The Snowy Day. It’s a classic, the pictures are beautiful, and there’s nothing more cozy than a child’s wandering in the snow and then coming back home.

More important than the stuff is the memories Jared and I anticipate creating with Lucia. We’ll cozy up in our pajamas and read books, we’ll trudge through snow together, we’ll care for Lucia’s baby with her.

Here are my guideposts for navigating the excess this season:

1. Shop locally. Avoid the lure of the discounts, the buy 1 get 1 offers, and the quick transaction of online sales.  I feel so much better knowing my money is going to local economy, so when I can, I buy from local, small stores.

2. Allocate funds away from stuff and towards experiences. This year, Jared and I are hosting Christmas Eve. We’re putting together a typical Swedish smorgasbord, using recipes from Scandinavian Christmas. We’ll sip bubbly, we’ll munch on meatballs, root vegetables, and sweets and simply enjoy the day with friends and family.

3. Get outside. There’s nothing better for the soul than fresh air. I find that when I’m happier, I want less. Indeed, as Brother Steindel- Rast writes, “It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”  I came across that quote in Brene Brown’s Daring Grealy a few years ago, and the sentiment is so true. The more I recognize the abundance that already exists in my life, the happier I am.

Have a Merry Christmas!